|
IRIN Web Special on Separated Somali Children
Chapter 3: Looking after separated children
Diaspora responsibilities
In most European countries, a person is considered a child up to 18, and is entitled to particular rights and treatment. This Western definition may contradict other cultural concepts of what childhood is. For example, in very traditional Somali culture, girls as young as nine may be considered adult; young teenage boys could be taking on the responsibilities of an adult in their home country. Faced with significant cultural contradictions and tough economic and social circumstances, the Somali diaspora find it difficult to raise and educate children, particularly separated children.
When a Somali family living abroad takes on a separated child, there is often little comprehension as to what responsibilities that entails - particularly, the specific entitlement of rights bestowed on that child, and the ensuing state responsibilities. It is also unlikely that there is any understanding of the special needs a separated child might have, including issues of identity, depression and trauma. This can lead to serious conflict in the child-guardian relationship, and means a separated Somali child may "resurface" years after their arrival in official figures for crime, juvenile detention, truancy and drug abuse.
Torn between two cultures
Once in the host country, children - and particularly young teenagers - feel a heavy burden of peer pressure to assimilate. Children are likely to learn the language quickly and adopt "appropriate" cultural behaviour, whereas adults are more likely see it as their responsibility to retain and protect the original culture. Some children have to become a bridge between the two cultures. They must translate and respond to the outside world - for example, reading school letters to their guardians, and writing the reply - while at the same time responding to pressure at home to be worthy and respectful repositories of Somali culture. Attempts by the diaspora to retain the Somali culture include Koranic lessons and insisting on speaking Somali at home. Conflict arises in the family when the child rebels against "Somaliness", and takes on the lifestyle and values of the host culture to an extent that is detrimental to basic adult authority in the home.
[On taking care of nine-year-old in Canada, returnee in Hargeysa]
Somali parents said one of the biggest problems they faced in raising children overseas was the restriction Western culture places on discipline. "Smacking and beating is seen as normal discipline in the Somali community, and a lot of adults are astonished, and outraged about the role the authorities take," said one Somali mother. Added to the frustration and confusion is the fact that diaspora parents and guardians also face criticism from teachers and police that they are unable to control their children. "In the school, both the teachers and the parents blame each other for the absence of discipline. We think our children are rude because the teachers don't smack them and the children don't respect them - but when we go to see the teachers, they say, why don't you control your children?" said one Somali parent.
Traditionalism versus assimilation
Many Somalis living abroad, or who have returned home, dwell on stories about Somali parents or guardians who had children forcibly removed from the home over matters of discipline. One woman who did voluntary work with social services in Canada said she had come across "a few cases" where Somali children were removed from the family into temporary or permanent care after one of their children complained to the police about corporal punishment at home. She was involved in one case where a seven-year-old child telephoned the police when his mother was smacking his five-year-old brother for hurting his little sister. The seven-year-old had been taught at school to call the police if there was any violence at home. As the mother was unable to speak the host language, the onus was on the seven-year-old to receive the police and translate for them when they arrived; but he became fearful of his mother and of the police when he realized the enormity of what he had done. "The mother had no idea why the police had arrived at her home, and became hysterical, and so displayed behaviour that was detrimental to her own case. When I was called in, the children had all been taken into temporary care until the case was sorted out."
Parents and guardians also feel their authority is undermined generally by the more permissive, welfare-oriented societies in Europe and North America. When young teenagers appeal to the welfare state for help, they may be entitled to accommodation and benefits that allow them to leave the family. For many young teenagers struggling to assimilate, rejecting adult authority in the house is part of the drive to reject the culture of origin. Others find crucial aspects of their own culture have no practical relevance in the new environment - where, for example, Somali teenage boys are expected to take a dominant male role in the household at 14, but find they are living in a female-headed household in a society that openly condemns the notion of male superiority.
Such "cultural confusion", said one member of the diaspora, tends to bring out extreme traditionalism in adults and obsessive "assimilationism" in the young. Adults retreat into their own culture; their children get to know the foreign system better, are better educated, are better versed in the host language and appropriate cultural behaviour, and are also likely to deal with any paperwork (letters from school, officials forms etc) that comes across the threshold. "The authority of the adult is ambiguous, to say the least," said one Somali parent.
Many adults in the diaspora try to minimize this culture 'gap' between the generations by making sure Somali remains the language of the house. The children receive religious education from Koranic teachers in the evenings or at weekends, and the Somali community works together as much as possible through local organizations and social contacts. However, when all else is seen to fail, children are "deported" back to the homeland - sometimes with disastrous consequences (see Chapter 6 Returning Home).
Continue?
|
|
