SOUTH AFRICA: Melanie, "If you won't test, I won't do 'it'"
Photo: Laura Lopez Gonzalez/PlusNews
"I made the move and was tested"
Johannesburg, 12 August 2010 (PlusNews) - Melanie grew up in a large, religious family in the South African
seaside city of Port Elizabeth. She talked to IRIN/PlusNews about how
HIV touched her life at a young age, and how education and loss gave
her not only the ability to start her own HIV organization east of
Johannesburg, but also to navigate HIV in her own discordant
relationship.
"I grew up in a very religious house, where every day - Monday to Monday - for my parents was church, church, church.
"We were six brothers and six sisters ... two brothers were
HIV-positive. Because I was closest to them, because I'm the chatty one
... and I'm easy to communicate with ... my brothers came to me [when
they began to get sick] and said, 'Hey, my sister, there is something
wrong'. I took them to test [for HIV].
"[When my brothers were diagnosed HIV-positive], I had to break the ice
when it came to my parents. I went to my father and said, 'Hey Daddy,
you know what? Charles is HIV-positive.'
"My father swore ... with all the 'f's' and 'b's' - you know how in the
olden days parents used to swear at you? He went into shock because he
felt it was embarrassing - 'What are other people going to say?'
"I was only 18 years old and I started to involve myself in community
work. I joined this thing and that thing just to get to learn more, and
I started [going for HIV] testing myself.
"I've lost two brothers to HIV and it's a very sensitive thing; it's
not a nice thing to talk about because it makes me very emotional if I
think about it - that's why I test.
"When I met [my husband] in 1989, I said, 'You don't want to test? I
won't do 'it' [have sex] because, say, something is wrong with you?
Let's be on the safe side.'
"He would say, 'No, no, no, but I'm clean.'
"So I made the move and was tested. I was negative [he found out he was
HIV-positive]. We've got a daughter who is 21, who is HIV-negative, and
we are grandparents because I'm the cheeky one - 'You don't want to
test? I won't do 'it.'"
llg/ks/he
Theme (s):
HIV/AIDS (PlusNews),
[This report does not necessarily reflect the views of the United Nations]